http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021275.html

Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don't understand I already tried my card that way? It's not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!

--63rd St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021274.html

Woman to stylish man walking past: You look like a designer!
Man: Thanks.
Woman: Are you a designer?
Man, about five feet past: Kind of.

--Houston & Ludlow

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021273.html

Older black man: How's you mother?
20-something white man: She died in January.
Older black man: I'm very sorry to hear that.
20-something white man: Thanks. She left me her rent-controlled apartment!

--Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021272.html

Girl: So I don't steal from privately owned places and shit, I steal from like CVS.
Guy: The funniest thing I ever stole was a five-dollar finger vibrator.
Girl, excited: Did it work?
Guy: Yeah, it was the shit! You can borrow it anytime.

--NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Mika

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021271.html

Guy #1: What did you do with her after dinner?
Guy #2: We went back to my place for game of "just the tip."

--4th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Aussieguy

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021270.html

Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit's rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be outside with your pussy smelling like that!

--Outside Macy's

Overheard by: Nick Spiller

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021269.html

Dad to seven-year-old: Do you want to see 2012?
Seven-year-old: God, no. Who directed it? Michael Bay?

--Regal Theater, 14th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021268.html

Group of friends, singing: Tell me more! Tell me more!
Soloist: Did she poop on your face?

--19th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Lotte

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021267.html

Little girl with large nose and pink jacket: Mommy, why is it cold out?
Mom with large nose wearing blue parka: Because your father is an asshole!

--F Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021266.html

Woman looking at cookbooks: Do you have a big kitchen?
Friend: Well, kinda. I've got a stove with two burners, and a microwave.

--Bleecker & Cornelia

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021265.html

Homeless guy: I got candy, I got gum. I do this 'cause everybody got to eat. I'm trying to do the right thing. I sell candy, I sell gum. I don't sell drugs.
Blonde girl: Do you have drugs?

--Times Square

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021264.html

20-something girl to mom: If I had a million dollars, I would spend 90% of my time watching tv, or doing nothing, like playing on the computer.
Mom: See? That is the type of attitude we need to talk about, you should want something!
20-something girl: Okay, I will read books.
Mom: (sighs)

--Penn Station

Overheard by: amazed by ignorance

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021263.html

Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!

--M104 Bus

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021262.html

Redheaded hipster #1, jumping in flour: This is so Brooklyn... Why is there flour in the street?
Redheaded hipster #2: Someone probably was just like "fuck this cake," and threw it out of their window in frustration.
Redheaded hipster #1: I mean, probably.

--Williamsburg

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021261.html

Teenage girl: Yeah, well... I'm *really* close with the school principal.
Teenage friend, raising eyebrow: Are you?
Teenaged girl: No. I mean really close. Like, "spank me daddy" close!
(teenage friend accidentally puts the lit end of a cigarette in her mouth and starts screaming)

--59th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: tinyfoo

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021260.html

Woman #1: We did it on his lunch break in a hotel by that cafe we like.
Woman #2: So I'm guessing it was quick?
Woman #1: Yeah, like one of those cartoons.

--Canal St

Overheard by: Mark

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021259.html

Well-dressed 60-something crazy white man looking into artsy coffee shop: What movie is this?
30-something white artsy man, smoking: This? This is a coffee shop.
Well-dressed 60-something crazy white man: Yes, yes... But what movie?

--Cafe, Luldow St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021258.html

Wife: The Titanic sank for hours?!
Husband: No, the sign says the Titanic sank four hours. Over a thousand people died.
Wife: Why didn't they just get on the life boats?

--Titanic Exhibit

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021257.html

Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.

--95th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Adriana

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021256.html

College girl, sniffing jacket sleeve: This smells bad.
College boy: Is it vomit?
College girl: No, because I didn't wear it last night.

--Greenwich & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Carla